A man should also contribute to the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well-being of his family. However, that doesn't mean that a wife can sit around the house all day and expect the man to slave for her while she relaxes. Reply Link. He should; as your husband, be open to helping you financially but marriage does not make him obligated. It doesn't say love , honor and financially support your wife in the marriage vows. The loving husband will be a hard working husband.This doesn’t mean that he will make lots of money; but it does mean that his priority is to “provide for his own” (1 Tim. You aren’t off the hook on this one. When you're married, you're supposed to take care of each other.... That is an issue that should be handled before marriage. Providing for your family includes being aware of what is going on with the money, and making sure there is provision for food, rent/ mortgage and so on. Men should also contribute 50/50 (50%)...meaning that both men and women contribute at least some form of money. So, for example, a husband might discourage his wife from starting a business or going to law school. You either accept things as they are and continue to support him, or give him an ultimatum to get a job and be a man and support his family as Allah intended. No, I don't believe that men should take all the finanacial responsiblities. Think on that one for a bit. When I happened to open the bill one day I was sick. The reason I say that is because although years ago, a husband was legally obligated to support his wife, the laws on this issue have changed because of the women's liberation movement and women wanting to be on equal footing with men. This may not just be about knowing how should a husband treat his wife, but about a happy strong successful marriage. An ex can NEVER go after the new spouse’s income to pay child support. I was raised to believe that the man work and brought the money in to provide for the family and the wife was to stay home and be a wife and mother, if he refuses to provide and wants his wife to then he ain't a very good husband moreless role model for his children and its time to throw him out into the real world by him self. A man who makes no effort to provide for his family cannot rightly call himself a Christian. One Christian Dad © 2020. Where is it written that a man must be the financially successful one? Women should have the opportunity to work and should have equal respect. I truly feel unloved. That is how I am now working overtime; something I never ever would have imagined. This woman felt she had been financially mistreated earlier in her life and overspent to get revenge on those who mistreated her—even though the husband believed he was treating her very fairly. Some wives prefer to stay home and raise children, others don't. Reply Quote. Powered by  - Designed with the Hueman theme. NOWHERE is it written that it’s any man’s responsibility to treat his wife “like a queen.” . A new spouse cannot be held financially responsible for the support of any offspring other than their own. I think marriage is a partnership with equal responsibilties. "The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'Man is the guardian of his family and every guardian has responsibilities towards those under his guardianship'." Why he tells me his wife got stilleto nails and his baby is happy? Also, if you have children, she should return to work after more or less 6 months (or the maternity leave duration). I am worried about my laptop and the rebuilding related to that . The fact a husband may be resentful of his SAHM wife getting a pricey massage on rare occasions or that a wife may resent having to defend this decision is probably something that needs to be hashed out with good communication. Listen. Get a job! For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church . You can sign in to vote the answer. I spoke to him about downsizing and selling our home to live within his salary, again to no avail. 3. Cassie May 26, 2015, 5:40 pm. "Very often, it's a man whose entire self worth is wrapped up in his net worth," he says. Link; Cassie May 26, 2015, 5:41 pm (I hate when people use ‘DH’). Take Care of Your Wife by Providing for Her. 6. I evicted my son and he ended up moving even bought a trailer to take with his pickup truck he moved now the police come looking for him.? “A man should be a good provider.” We’ve all heard this phrase before; it remains common even in our modern society. The husband is obliged to spend upon his family, upon his wife and children, on a reasonable basis, even if the wife is rich. Wth . April 6, 2015 . We are called women as in wife that takes care of cooking,cleaning, and what ever else and the man is pose to have a job and provide for his wife-kids of every need,no matter what it is. A generation ago, the man was the undisputed head of the household; he worked and brought home the bacon while the wife took care of the house and later, the children. He has a job; he is a high school teacher. What are the possible reasons people get married too soon? He said he didn’t want to worry me and “we just didn’t have the money.” Then a couple years ago he wasn’t paying the quarterly taxes and I found out when they (~$10,000) were due. I filed a complaint at the family court (counseling), after which it was decided that we would stay together and he would support me financially. She instead spent four times that much. I work over 40 hours per week now and it blows my mind to even write that. Example of a couple I counseled: A successful man who tightly controlled the family finances gave his wife a budget of $5,000 a month to spend as she liked. Today woman can work at any job and they are the majority in colleges, so she should earn her own money. Should a woman feel entitled to financial support from the guy she is currently in a relationship with? A. Angie last edited by . If he wants to continue in his lifestyle of the rich and famous and let you support him, it's time to consider what it is that you want out of a marriage...a bum who allows his woman to provide for the … Why guys are willing to support their wife financially? I actually chose this career because I knew I could work one or two hours per day and be payed well. We are now paying that off in monthly installments. The short answer is of course she should! Answered February 12, 2020 No, you shouldn’t support her financially. We want to encourage and equip you. There will be challenges and unexpected situations that arise. We are in the process of looking for a good counsellor. But yes the man is pose to provide every need including all bills-what ever it is-for his wife and kids. When someone says that a man should be a good provider, what they invariably mean is that he should have a good job that earns a steady income, one which enables him to provide food, shelter, and the nice things in life to his family. My DH got it as a tattoo. You become stakeholders in the household, and share the effort of maintaining and improving it. I have convinced my husband that we need counseling and he is willing, but nervous, about going. But raising children is a job. According to a survey described in a 2011 article, Is Your Partner Cheating on You Financially? not meaning that she doesnt have to contribute, but if thats the way a man and wife want it than by all means go for what makes you the happiest. Man's Letter To Wife Calculates How Much Stay-At-Home Moms Should Earn. That is what my husband and I chose to do, but we wanted a large family (8 kids). For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shal.1 be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh". Yes I agree totally-It is the man's responsiblity to support his wife-kids what ever, he is the man of the house. It is always a good thing to have certain individuality when it comes to finances, but having transparency about your financial … . I have a good professional degree in healthcare but it is exhausting and I have been burnt out for quite some time. We all know that sometimes men need to be told what you need from them. It means much more than that. Published November 7, 2012. But it isn't technically the mans job to support a woman. When I express my frustration it just defeats him instead of energizing him into action. There will be good times and there will be not-so-good times. No we don't live like leave it to beaver anymore. It is a personal decision between man and wife. It is the man who can, through his wisdom, support his family and prepare the grounds for their happiness and it is he who can turn the house into a paradise and his wife to act as an angel. If you have kids and the wife stays home, then it would be the responsibilty of the husband to provide. 1. Depends on the couple. Well technically the wife has no financial responsibilities to the husband, her children, or maintaining the household. Yes, that’s right – nothing. I did encourage him to get his masters, get national board certified, or get a side job (like tutoring in the summer) after the kids were born to no avail. So, wives, take note! Depends on the agreement made between the husband and wife. 1 Reply Last reply . Most men believe that being a good provider means supporting a family financially. And the more support a mother has the better. If your spouse won't give you enough money during the marriage, I don't know of a court or agency in the land that will help you out and make them fork over more money to you. Both should counsel together when planning a budget, analyzing expenses, making priorities together, and once the budget is set, there should be very specific responsibilities outlined, like who's responsible to pay bills on time. Lawmaker wants penalty for backers of Texas lawsuit, Why 'Crocodile Dundee' star, 81, came out of retirement, College students outraged as schools cancel spring break, Congress is looking to change key 401(k) provision, Europeans alarmed by Trump's election gambit, NFL legend calls out youth coach who hit player, Jobless benefits helped, until states asked for money back, COVID-19 survivors suffering phantom foul smells, FKA twigs sues LaBeouf over 'relentless abuse', Scammers are trying to rob Amazon Prime users of $800, U.S. executes Louisiana truck driver who killed daughter. The husband is obliged to spend, and that includes cases where the wife is a teacher, and it has been stipulated that the husband allow her to continue teaching. Depending on someone for money is a terrible feeling. Yes, in a marriage, a man is supposed to financially support his wife. I think you really need to re-evaluate your priorities with this man and your expectations. This man is being an idiot. 1. And he would be less offended if you asked him for money, especially if he wasn't quite sure whether or not he should jump in and offer his help. Now, both spouses work and earn and men don't believe they should have to support their wives if she is earning her own money. He wants to be the payor and he pays the minimum balances on time but does not balance our bank account or do any budgeting (we go into overdraft frequently). yes it is to a point..a few years ago my husband worked two jobs while i stayed home, and took care of our infant son..i felt it was his responsiblity then because i wanted to stay home with the baby, but the baby got old enough i went back to work, and he quit one of the jobs..today i make more money then him, so i is now my responsiblity to financially support my husband, and i don't mind at all. Imagine being a grown adult still living at home with your parents. What to expect What to expect No matter how feminist a man may be, it does something to his self-esteem to depend on his girlfriend for financial support. Not even if she is rich or is working. Yes, in a marriage, a man is supposed to financially support his wife. Rather than submissively cooperating with his wife's decision to put her feminism ahead of her family, a man should offer some guidance. By Gillian Fuller. its a man responsibility to support his family to include his wife. When a man commits his love and his time to a woman, there are no stipulations or circumstances required. In order to do this, he must recognize that there are other currencies, in addition to money, that need to be provided. Only users with topic management privileges can see it. We recognize it when OTHER people do it but for some reason when it's a wife it doesn't count. A responsible man should know when to assist his wife financially. Wife cheated and i caught her red handed.? Why guys are willing to support their wife financially? How do you think about the answers? . Join Yahoo Answers and get 100 points today. He let our credit card debt grow over $25,000 and did not tell me. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. We want to talk! Would the ex wife do the same for him and his new wife? I feel forced to work and I have slowly had to add more and more hours due to his financial irresponsibility. Can share? 31% Admit Money Deception by Jenna Goudreau... "Over half of all financial cheaters admitted hiding cash (58%) or minor purchases (54%). As I began writing this guide to the top 10 things every husband should do for his wife, I realized that many of those tips are reversible to the wife’s role, as well. I think I really upset people the most when I used the phrases "be a man" and "put your foot down." The problem with our society is that it doesn't recognize domestic work as work. Let it be known that lying about finances and money will not be tolerated in your marriage. Have a Heart to Heart with Your Financially Irresponsible Spouse. When you get married, you are no longer individuals but a team. 5:8). .. jk- I’m feeling way too silly today. Every time my mother comes over she rearranges my house and it’s driving my husband and I NUTS!!!? Um, I had it written into my wedding vows cause I didn’t want him to forget. Most men believe marriage is just a means for women to get paid, but most men don't really see what women go through, the sacrifces they make for their husbands. Still have questions? Ultimately, you will have to do what is in your heart. All Rights Reserved. In the beginning I tried my very best to be a “non-nagging” spouse and support his career. If you love your spouse, you'd make her financially independent. I am crying out to God right now to protect me from myself and to convict him. I have honestly found myself admiring other hard working men who provide for their families and that scares the crap out me. A man who truly loves his wife will be a man who labors diligently to provide for his wife. Women should contribute 50/50 or one half of their money (50%). No... not at all . But he will stay by your side and be your teammate through it all. Marriage is important to me but he wants to just "stay together forever" without getting married? This topic has been deleted. PLEASE help me with some advice on this and thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this! This is why I said in a previous post, that one of the many responsibilities God has given to husbands is to know their wives – meaning to know her hopes and fears, what bothers her, what stresses her out and do our best to help in these areas. You; on the other hand, are obligated to be responsible for your own money and make smart choices without depending on someone else to help you make it. If you don't truly love your spouse, then you'd make her depend on you for all her financial needs. A good man who loves you would be happy to support you in your times of need, it would be one way of showing his love. But, understand that if you are the chief wage earner, if you are the most stingy tightwad, your significant other cannot … Things have changed a lot over the past 40 years, but financial support is a mutual thing; the man has to be willing or wanting his wife to stay home or pay all the bills while she keeps her money. This means you’ll need to sit your spouse down and be as open and honest as possible. Seems all you see with him is dollar … Not anymore, did you know that half the marriages out here have the woman as the bread winner, its a different world, ladies are well educated these days and some of them make the big bucks and their man has the easy life. So, in your case, the fact that your husband is not fulfilling your rights to be taken care of financially doesn't mean you are allowed to withhold sex from him as a form of punishment. But, understand that if you are the chief wage earner, if you are the most stingy tightwad, your significant other cannot take you to court. If he’s not obligated to financially support his ex wife, her partner needs to step up and take over that obligation. My husband know this. **Of course, there is an asterisk on this. Steven Nelms just raised the bar for husbands everywhere. Probably not. A man’s responsibility in this sense is inexorably linked to that of the woman’s in a Muslim marriage. This isn’t something that ought to be exploited, but rather an extra factor that a man should be considerate of in his treatment of his wife. For example: Once you’re married and you see your spouse is financially irresponsible, it’s important to nip it in the bud as soon as possible. If the husband is a humble shopkeeper while the wife is a doctor, the husband still has the technical responsibility to support the household on his own. It is impossible to completely deal with the responsibilities of the husband in such a short article. Why can't a woman support a man? 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